


please me, show me how it's done

by WhiteSpins



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Bondage, Dirty Talk, F/F, Hate Sex, Oral Sex, Rough Sex, Strap-Ons
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-25
Packaged: 2018-04-16 08:16:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4618095
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhiteSpins/pseuds/WhiteSpins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke can't stand Lexa. She can't stand her indifference, her coldness, her arrogance. But the fact that she's amazing in bed is what makes her a decent roommate.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. She'll eat you alive

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my first language, so please, be kind.

UCLA was much bigger than what Clarke expected.

 

The first time she had seen the university, it was a day in October.

Clarke remembered very well the feeling that she felt within herself as she walked in the building with other high school students, led by a professor who looked stern but helpful at the same time.

Clarke felt at ease. That was her place, she was sure of that.

 

The second time, Clarke was there to set all of her stuff in her dorm room, which apparently she would have shared with another girl, who, however, had yet to show up.

Maybe the university didn’t assign her a roommate yet, she thought.

Or it was more likely that the girl wasn’t really in a hurry.

Clarke envied her. She had to wake up at 6 in the morning to catch the plane from Seattle, and she wasn’t really a morning person.

Her mother asking her a thousand questions and reminding her every five minutes to be careful certainly did not help.

 

Two days passed since Clarke moved officially in the university’s dormitory.

Oddly, she still hadn’t the opportunity to meet her roommate.

Not that Clarke had spent so much time in her room, since the day after she moved there she was invited to a party by Octavia, a girl who seemed rather nice and friendly.

Since she didn’t know anyone and she loved parties and beer pong, Clarke didn’t have to think twice before accepting.

 

But when she woke up in Octavia’s room, lying on the floor and with her bra that made as a pillow, Clarke thought that maybe, maybe she had a little too much fun the night before.

The sunlight through the window did not help much with the severe headache she had. And when she got up, or at least tried to, she nearly fell on Octavia, who was still sleeping peacefully like a child in her bed.

 _Good for her_ , Clarke thought, rubbing her eyes and looking for her shoes. Or rather, one of her shoes.

 

After finding it (for some reason it was in Octavia’s arms, who was cuddling it in her sleep with a smile on her face), Clarke decided that the only thing she could take for breakfast was a nice coffee.

She felt like she couldn’t really stomach anything.

 

After going to Starbucks, she walked towards her dorm, while sipping the hot cup of coffee in her hand.

When she found herself at her room’s door, she prayed any deity she knew that she hadn’t forgotten her keys in Octavia’s room, or worse, that she lost them.

She sighed with relief when she realized that she put them in the back pocket of her jeans; she took them, finally opening the door.

And then, she almost had a heart attack.

 

"Oh, my God" she said, bringing a hand to her chest.

Green eyes looked at her, and Clarke felt weird for a moment, before shaking her head.

"Sorry, I didn’t expect anyone here, since this is my room" Clarke laughed nervously, but then suddenly got serious, "I'm in my room, right?"

"Room 211" an almost robotic voice said.

Clarke looked at the person in front of her, breathing a sigh of relief.

"Oh, thank goodness. I think that otherwise I would have buried myself or something. "

The other girl didn’t say anything.

"You're my roommate, right? I’m Clarke. Clarke Griffin. "

Stretching her arm towards the girl, Clarke waited for her to shake her hand.

"Clarke..." she muttered, before turning to the shelf, arranging the books that were in her hands.

"Your name is Clarke? Weird, what a coincidence" Clarke said, frowning.

"Lexa" the other girl sighed, without turning around, "Lexa Woods."

 

Lowering the hand that apparently Lexa was not going to shake, which was not very nice of her, Clarke watched her put her books in the shelf, in an alphabetic order.

Clarke could see that Lexa was a beautiful girl: she had a really nice body, an olive complexion that she envied, and bright green eyes that could take aback anyone.

But there was something about her that didn’t convince Clarke.

She almost seemed... cold.

 

However, Clarke wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt. After all, first impression is not what really mattered, right?

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke was wrong.

Lexa was not cold. She was glacial.

 

A week had passed since their first meeting, the classes started the next day, and every day Clarke couldn’t wait to put up with hours and hours of different classes, even the most boring ones, just to spend more time out of her room , far from Lexa and her Snow Queen attitude.

Clarke often tended to exaggerate, of course, but this was not the case.

 

The night they met each other, she thought it would have been nice to spend some time with Lexa, so that they could start to know each other, since they had to live together in the same room for a minimum of nine months.

Waiting until Lexa had finished putting her stuff away, Clarke sat on her bed, having spent an hour or so reading a book, and asked her if she wanted to take a walk around the university with her. It was huge, Clarke had yet to see everything.

But Lexa said no, just saying that she couldn’t go with her, without elaborating further.

Clarke wasn’t really pleased, but she didn’t give it much thought, and said nothing when Lexa said she was going to take a shower, taking the things she needed and leaving their room.

 

The second time, Clarke was at the Starbucks on campus, sitting at a table with Octavia.

She was teasing her friend for her huge and obvious crush on the guy who worked there, his name was Lincoln, if she remembered well, when her eyes fell on Lexa, who had just walked in the café.

Without thinking twice, she called her name, moving her hand so that Lexa could see her.

When Lexa came up to their table after giving her order to one of the bartenders, Clarke asked her if she wanted to sit down with them. But Lexa promptly refused, explaining that she had to study.

When one of the bartenders called her name, she said goodbye to Clarke, without even looking at Octavia, and without waiting for Clarke to say anything.

Clarke could only watch her go away with a disappointed look on her face, while Octavia expressed her opinion on Lexa’s coldness, using quite colorful words.

 

The third time, Clarke asked her if she wanted to get some pizza with her and Octavia. Lexa, again, used the ‘I have to study’ excuse.

Clarke, thinking of herself as a kind person, was about to ask if she wanted anything.

Lexa, however, just put her headphones over her ears, giving exclusively attention to the book she was reading.

Clarke glanced at the cover, not very impressed when she saw what she was reading.

 _The Art of War_ , of course.

 

And that’s what happened the first week.

Finally, it was Friday, Clarke was on her bed with her laptop on her legs, a smile on her face as she accepted a video call on Skype.

"I missed your pretty face, princess."

Clarke smiled, moving a strand of hair behind her ear.

"It’s only been a week since I left, Finn."

"It seems more like a month for me" the boy admitted, lowering his head.

Clarke looked at him with sad eyes, saying nothing.

"Anyway, how are you? How is your life at college? "

"Challenging, I’d say" Clarke said with a sigh, "Tough. It’s only the first week, and I already have a lot of things to study. "

"Yeah, I can only imagine."

 

They were both quiet for a few moments. Clarke looked elsewhere, not knowing what to say.

Finn cleared his throat, drawing Clarke’s attention.

"Well, things are always the same here. Work, work and work... "

"Come on, I'm sure you have some time to have fun, right?” Clarke said, crossing her arms, "I didn’t take the fun with me when I left Seattle, did I?"

Finn shook his head, letting out a little laugh.

"I really hope not. It’s just that, to be honest, everything is very different without you. "

"Finn ..."

"But Los Angeles needs you. And you need it too. "

Clarke smiled, her eyes shining with tears.

She missed Finn. She really missed him.

 

She knew that having a long distance relationship wouldn’t have been easy, that the texts, the calls and the video calls would have never been enough.

But looking at her boyfriend’s eyes, so proud and sad at the same time, Clarke was sure that they were going to make it.

It wasn’t the end of the world, they weren’t so far away from each other. They would have seen each other after a few months, the only thing they needed was a little patience.

 

"You know I love you, right, princess?" Finn sighed.

Clarke was about to answer, when the door opened, and Lexa came in the room.

The girls looked at each other for a few seconds, then Lexa walked to her bed, putting her bag on it.

Clarke looked at her as she took a textbook from her bag, along with a highlighter. Lexa sat on her bed, while opening her book.

Her long hair fell in front of her face, and Clarke felt the sudden and crazy need to stroke them and move them to see Lexa’s face.

 

"Clarke?"

Clarke turned to the computer screen, seeing Finn’s confused face.

"Sorry, I got distracted for a moment."

"Is there someone with you?"

In her peripheral vision, Clarke could see that Lexa was staring. Trying to ignore the weight of her gaze, and her own racing pulse, Clarke gave an answer to Finn.

"It's just my roommate, don’t worry."

Clarke was almost sure that a small sigh came out of Lexa’s mouth. And although she was tempted to look at her, she didn’t, focusing instead on Finn’s sweet smiling face.

"Oh, well, why don’t you introduce me to her?"

 

Clarke hesitated, laughing nervously. But before she could say anything, Lexa closed her book, letting out a loud huff of annoyance, and stood up. Without saying anything, she left the room, leaving Clarke speechless.

"Another time, I guess" Finn muttered noticing the look on Clarke’s face, not amused at all.

 

* * *

 

 

"Seriously, Octavia. I don’t think I ever met such a rude person before in my life.”

"By rude you mean a bitch, right? Don’t worry, Clarke, you’re allowed to use bad words sometimes, you won’t be arrested. And I don’t see your mother around here. "

Clarke snorted, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, okay, Lexa is a bitch" she sighed watching her friend nod, "I don’t understand, really. She’s very enigmatic, and the fact that she isn’t a really big talker just makes things worse.”

"And by that you mean that she basically never speaks" Octavia said, adopting a thoughtful expression, "Well, if 'yes', 'no', 'perhaps' and 'uhm' can be seen as forms of communication."

"Maybe it would be better to have a bear as a roommate."

"Maybe you're right. If you had, like, a grizzly as a roommate then there could be an higher chance to have some kind of normal conversation” Octavia said, "But then maybe you wouldn’t be here talking to me right now if that was the case."

 

Clarke sighed, realizing that it was something she was doing too much lately.

She lay on her bed, looking at the ceiling.

Octavia lay down beside her, her arms crossed.

"Why couldn’t you be my roommate?" Clarke asked closing her eyes.

"’Cause I would distract you too much with my hotness. You wouldn’t be able to study then.”

Clarke laughed, "There are a thousand places in this university where I could study."

"You're right" Octavia admitted, "The truth is that, if I was your roommate, you’d fall madly in love with me and that would ruin our friendship."

"Trust me, that would never happen, not even in another world."

"Oh, you're so sweet and nice."

"I know."

 

Both girls went silent for a few minutes, enjoying the moment of peace.

"Clarke."

"Yeah?"

"What if you fall in love with Lexa?"

Clarke looked at Octavia, noticing the serious look on her face.

Then they burst out laughing. Clarke took the pillow from behind her, hitting her friend in the head, and Octavia did the same thing, hitting Clarke's arm.

 

When their laughter subsided, they went back to their previous positions, lying as they stared at the ceiling.

"There are, like, a thousand reasons why I could never fall in love with her."

"Why, because you’re straight?"

Clarke glared at her before answering.

"No, I'm bisexual."

"Oops. Okay, go on" Octavia said feeling a little embarrassed.

But before Clarke could say anything, she added, "Well, but if you think about it, you have to admit that Lexa is really hot. And that uncaring bitch attitude kinda makes her look charming, in some way. "

Clarke gave her a serious look, "I'm not blind, Octavia. I noticed that she’s a very attractive girl, of course I did. But assholes are not really my type, you know? "

 

Shaking her head, she added, "It’s just that... I don’t think I could ever fall in love with someone so closed off and cold. I don’t know anything about her, she’s not even interested in getting to know each other. It’s so frustrating. "

Octavia nodded, "Yeah... and then there's Finn."

Feeling a lump in her throat, and trying to dispel the thought that having a boyfriend was not listed as her first reason, Clarke replied with a nod.

"And then there's Finn."

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke was choosing something to wear that evening with Octavia’s help, since they were going to another party. Although, Clarke said firmly that she wouldn’t touch a drop of alcohol, as she had yet to recover from the week before.

She was showing a shirt with a plunging neckline to Octavia, who had given her opinion by making a disgusted face, saying that she didn’t like the color at all, when Lexa came into the room.

 

Both Clarke and Octavia looked at her.

Lexa looked at them for a while, before she let out a loud huff while walking to her desk, placing the bag on the chair.

Clarke rolled her eyes.

"Hello to you too, Lexa."

Lexa, apparently distracted, didn’t even raise her head when the only thing that came out of her mouth was a low grunt.

"Still very talkative, I see..." Clarke sighed.

Lexa ignored her, taking a book off the desk and lying on her bed.

Clarke could not help but wonder if all she did was reading and studying. Didn’t she have a social life? Something that resembled it at least?

 

Shaking her head, she turned to Octavia and the pile of clothes that were on her bed.

"Okay, seriously Clarke, you cannot wear this thing..." Octavia said with a  grimace.

"Where I come from they call it ‘shirt’, O."

"Where I come from they call it 'burn it right now, and what the hell were you thinking when you bought it?'"

Clarke looked at her, pretending to be annoyed.

"Alright, okay. It's definitely a no" she said, taking off her shirt and throwing it into the pile of clothes on the bed.

With her hands on her hips, she waited for Octavia to choose something that she didn’t find vomit inducing.

She didn’t notice that Lexa was staring at her, memorizing every inch of skin she could see, until her eyes fell on her breast, turning her curios gaze away a few seconds later.

 

Five minutes later, Octavia wasn’t yet satisfied with Clarke’s look.

"Okay, how about a pair of dark jeans? Or leather pants, do you have leather pants? I think you’d look so cool wearing them. With a nice pair of heels maybe. "

"Octavia, it’s a college party, we’re not going to a club in the city" Clarke said with a laugh, "And I don’t want to risk anyone hitting on me, or something."

"There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look great only for yourself" Octavia said, a mischievous smile on her face, "And I gotta tell you, you’ve already made an impression on me. You're super-hot, Clarke."

Clarke blushed. She was about to thank her friend for her quite honest compliment, when she heard Lexa sighing heavily.

"Can you go and flirt with each other somewhere else? I'm trying to read here."

Annoyed, Clarke was about to say something, but Octavia didn’t give her the chance.

"Hey, Clarke, I’m gonna wait for you outside, okay? I’m afraid bitchiness might be contagious, and I don’t want to take any risk, you know. Also, you're pretty much ready."

Not giving her time to answer, Octavia gave her a small smile, then glared at Lexa, before she left the room.

 

When she heard the door close, Clarke turned to Lexa with really angry eyes.

"Why are you like this?"

"What do you mean, Clarke?" Lexa asked, not looking up from the book, "I'm sorry if I interrupted that little moment with your girlfriend. But I thought you were already in a relationship? "

Clarke ran a hand through her hair, exasperated.

"Octavia is not... we're just friends. And it’s none of your business, you know" she said, crossing her arms, "Anyway, you act like a complete bitch, that’s what I mean."

"I appreciate your honesty, really."

"Can you at least look at me when I talk to you, or are you just too rude to do it?" Clarke raised her voice, approaching Lexa, "What, were you raised by a pack of wolves? Nobody has ever taught you even the slightest bit of education?"

 

Lexa finally looked up, piercing Clarke with an almost menacing look.

Clarke, noticing the girl's sudden change of mood, stepped back.

She was surprised when a bitter laugh came out of Lexa’s mouth, who stood from her bed, placing the book on it without taking her eyes off of Clarke.

She approached her until there was very little distance between them, but Clarke didn’t feel intimidated, and, not wanting to give any satisfaction to the other girl, she didn’t flinch, didn’t move at all.

Lexa got even closer, until her mouth brushed Clarke’s ear.

"You don’t know anything about me, Clarke."

 

And then, Lexa stepped away, looking at the girl with a smirk.

Clarke, feeling strangely warm, shook her head.

"You're right, Lexa, I don’t know anything about you" she admitted, looking at the other girl with determination in her eyes, "But I'd really like to get to know you."

Lexa seemed surprised, but, not wanting to show it, she lowered her head.

"Trust me, you don’t want to" she said, turning to go back to her bed.

But Clarke, without even realizing it, took her by the arm.

"Why not? Lexa..."

"Don’t touch me" Lexa interrupted abruptly pushing Clarke’s hand away, adding with a trembling voice, "Don’t ever do that."

 

Worried and surprised by her reaction, Clarke was speechless.

She looked at Lexa for a moment as if to make sure she was all right.

But she clearly wasn’t.

But Clarke also knew that if she stayed there, nothing good would have come out of it, it wouldn’t have been beneficial to either of them.

So, she decided to leave, taking her cell phone and keys.

She was about to leave the room, one hand on the door handle, when she hesitated. She didn’t know whether to apologize or not to Lexa.

But what was she supposed to apologize for?

Resisting the temptation to turn to the other girl, Clarke opened the door and walked away.

* * *

 

 

It had been almost a week since her fight with Lexa.

Clarke tried not to think about it too much, tried to not to think about the vulnerable look that Lexa showed briefly.

She thought about the tension between them that grew in those days, it was so suffocating that she could barely stay in the room when Lexa was there.

 

Also, it didn’t really help that Clarke could feel Lexa’s intense gaze on her all the time, when she studied, when she dressed, when she brushed her hair.

Perhaps Lexa looked at her a little too much.

But that didn’t bother her at all, for some strange reason.

No, what really bothered Clarke was the way she blushed every time she could feel those damn green eyes on her; she felt frustration when, whenever she turned in an attempt to catch Lexa looking at her, she always found her with her eyes on the book she held in one hand, while the other was behind her head.

Clarke hated herself for thinking that Lexa was so attractive, she was just on her bed reading, for Christ's sake, it’s not like she was doing a strip tease.

And yet, she couldn’t really deny that she found her to be absurdly beautiful. Clearly, her beauty matched her not so nice attitude.

"Do you want a picture, Clarke? It will last longer."

And that was just another proof of that not so nice attitude that Clarke didn’t need.

 

She had just got out of her last class of the day, when her cell phone rang.

When she pulled it out of her pocket and saw that Finn was calling her, Clarke sighed deeply.

"Hey, Finn."

"Princess, hi. How are you?"

"I'm fine, just a little tired, but I'm fine, yeah" Clarke said, walking towards the exit of the building, "How are you?"

"I’m a bit tired too. I just got out of work, you know."

"Oh, well..." Clarke hesitated, not knowing exactly what to say, "Take a rest, then."

 

Both were quiet for a moment. Clarke, hearing him breathing, tried to think of something they could talk about, anything; but her constant thought was to go to her room and sink into her bed. Maybe after she had a nice, long, hot shower.

She really hoped she wouldn’t find Lexa lying on her bed, reading or studying, like she always seemed to be doing.

 

"Clarke, you still there?"

"Yes, yes, I am. I'm just walking back to the dorm. "

"Oh, okay" Finn said, "Maybe that’s why you seemed kind of out of breath."

Clarke made a weird face, that Finn obviously couldn’t see.

So she answered him.

"Okay, I'm not really in good shape, but let’s not exaggerate."

"Maybe I heard wrong."

Then there was an awkward silence, or at least for Clarke it was.

 

She hadn’t talked with Finn since they talked on Skype the week before, but Clarke thought that maybe it wasn’t a really bad thing that they had not heard from each other those days. At least they would have had something to talk about, or so she thought. But apparently, she was wrong.

And if she had to be honest, and she didn’t want to be because she didn’t want to think about what this could mean, she didn’t feel the crazy need to hear her boyfriend’s voice. She wasn’t dying to see his face, she wasn’t craving a hug or a kiss from him.

She missed him, sure, but not so much that she was suffering, or feeling an intense desire to go back to Seattle to be in Finn’s arms, even for just one day.

 

Clarke felt something, but she didn’t feel enough.

But it hadn’t even been a month since she started college, maybe she was just getting used to this new life, maybe she was still looking for a new space where to put Finn and their relationship.

 

Clarke finally arrived at the dormitory building, and began to climb the stairs to the floor where her room was.

"Now I feel out of breath" she joked, "Two flights of stairs are a real pain, especially after hours and hours of boring classes."

"You love those boring classes, admit it."

Clarke sighed, "Well, not every single one."

"You wanted to specialize in medicine, right?"

"Yeah, of course I do, but..." Clarke finished climbing the stairs, fixing better her bag on her shoulder.

 

It was true, Clarke would take a degree in medicine. She was fascinated by it, and helping others was just natural for her.

But it wasn’t her dream, her true passion.

Drawing was what she really loved. Painting anything her mind imagined, creating whatever she was thinking. Having the power to give life with her hands to anything she wanted.

Finn was obviously aware of this talent. But what he didn’t know was that drawing was everything for Clarke, it was oxygen, something that she could not give up even under torture.

It was her escape, her hiding place by the difficulties that the universe continued to launch at her. It was like a spaceship that kept her away from an asylum called World.

 

But you cannot always do just what you want.

Clarke didn’t have much choice. She would become a doctor, to the delight of her mother, but most of all, she would do it so she wouldn’t disappoint her.

 

Clarke turned her attention back to her phone when she heard Finn’s reassuring voice.

"You'll be a great doctor, Clarke. I’m sure of that” he said with absolute conviction.

Smiling, Clarke took the keys from her jeans pocket, pushing it in the lock and opening the door.

"Thank you, Finn. You’re very sweet... oh, my God. What the fuck?!"

"Clarke?"

Ignoring Finn’s worried voice, Clarke looked at the scene in front of her.

Lexa on her bed. Nothing new there.

Half naked, on top of a girl who was clearly embarrassed, Lexa’s hand holding firmly her wrists, and the other not visible. Clarke could take an easy guess as to where it was.

Clarke’s traitorous eyes were fixed on Lexa’s body, absorbing every single inch, until she met the other girl’s annoyed, and at the same time surprised, eyes.

 

"Need something?" Lexa asked when she saw that Clarke had yet to move, almost as if she was paralyzed.

Clarke opened her mouth to answer, but she couldn’t even make the smallest sound. She was too shocked.

But when she heard the unknown girl moan, and saw Lexa’s arm moving, she left the room in a hurry.

Ignoring Finn who was trying to get her attention, Clarke hung up, walking towards Octavia’s room, hoping the blush on her cheeks wouldn’t have been so obvious when she got to her friend.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa looked at Clarke running out of their room, a small smirk on her face.

She felt a strange satisfaction when she saw the shocked look on Clarke’s face, but there was something she didn’t really expect, even if it was only for a brief moment, and it was Clarke’s curious eyes staring at her uncovered body.

Lexa felt oddly flattered.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted by the voice of the girl under her.

"Don’t stop, please" she said, taking her arm with one hand.

But Lexa, instead of keeping with what she was doing before Clarke came in the room, got off the other girl, getting out of bed and leaving her confused.

"You need to leave" she said starting to get dressed, her back to the girl.

"Come on, we still haven’t finished. I haven’t even got to return the favor."

The girl (whom Lexa couldn’t really remember the name, and she didn’t care) looked at her with a seductive smile, trying to take her hand. But Lexa pulled away immediately.

"I have to make a call."

"Can’t you do that later?"

 

When Lexa didn’t even answer her, the girl sighed, getting out of bed and putting her clothes back on.

"Thank God I didn’t give you my number" she huffed while putting on her shoes, "You're such a bitch."

Then she left the room with a glare, and Lexa smiled.

"It’s not anything I haven’t heard before."

 

* * *

 

 

"I mean, seriously?"

"Yeah ..."

"Does it seem like a normal thing to you?"

"Well, we are in college..."

When Clarke glared at her, Octavia shrugged.

"What? It’s true. These things happen all the time, Clarke."

"Maybe, but I surely didn’t need to see that much, you know" Clarke said, getting up from her friend’s bed, "I mean, if you want to do some… things in the room that you share with me, at least put a sock on the doorknob , or something."

Octavia nodded, "They should definitely include this rule in the students handbook."

"Seriously, she can do whatever she wants, I don’t care, but did she really have to keep doing those... things after I walked in the room? She looked me in the eyes, Octavia, and she kept on doing what she was doing before I walked in, like it was nothing."

"It sounds like the beginning of a really bad porn."

"Octavia ..."

"Okay, okay!" Octavia said laughing, raising her hands in surrender, "But what do you want me to say, Clarke?"

Clarke stayed silent, before huffing and laying back on the bed next to her friend.

 

"I have a theory."

"Oh, now I'm afraid."

Octavia laughed sarcastically, giving a little push to Clarke.

"No, seriously, Clarke."

"Okay, then shoot, I'm all ears" Clarke said, very curious.

 

Octavia sat up on her bed, turning towards her and crossing her legs.

"What if she was thinking about you when she was screwing that chick? Maybe all this hatred between you is just some good old ust " she said, wiggling her eyebrows with a mischievous smile on her face.

Clarke sighed, shaking her head, then rubbing her forehead.

For a moment, for a very brief moment, she thought that perhaps she didn’t mind this theory all that much; she remembered the surprised look on Lexa’s face, and that stupid smirk, as if she knew exactly what kind of effect she had on Clarke.

The truth was that Clarke wasn’t completely sure of the effect that Lexa had on her. But she knew for a fact that what the girl made her feel most of the time, was just an intense frustration, because of her behavior.

 

"Octavia ..."

"Yup?"

"I really should stop trying to take you seriously."

"I don’t take myself seriously, so I can’t blame you" Octavia said, lying down, putting her hands behind her head.

Clarke looked up towards the ceiling.

"I just want to go to my room without the risk of walking in a porn-free show, get my things and go taking a damn shower, that’s all I want."

"A cold shower, I guess" Octavia said, laughing.

"Of course, Octavia. Cold as Lexa and her soul. "

"But I bet she has something that’s not cold at all."

Clarke tried not to laugh at her friend’s bad joke, but her laugh was so contagious that she didn’t realize right away that she was laughing too.

 

* * *

 

After spending half an hour in Octavia’s room, laughing and joking with her friend, Clarke knew that it was time to go back to her room, even if she had to see Lexa still with that girl. Or with any other girl.

She didn’t care. She just wanted to take the things she needed to go and finally take that very much needed shower.

Her plans changed when she walked in her room and saw Lexa reading a book peacefully while lying on her bed.

Staying with her hand on the door for a few moments, Clarke looked at the other girl with a surprised look on her face.

 

"Are you going to stand there all evening, Clarke?" Lexa said without taking her eyes from the book.

Clarke rolled her eyes, shutting the door.

She put her bag on her bed, before turning to Lexa.

"I thought your little friend was still here. What, have you already finished?"

"I had better things to do."

Clarke scoffed, turning around.

"Yeah, I bet."

She began to get her things, ignoring Lexa’s look which seemed to follow her every move.

 

She was about to open the door and get out, when she took a deep breath, turning back to the other girl.

"Okay, you know what, Lexa? You're a fucking hypocrite. "

But when Lexa said nothing, Clarke moved until she got to her own bed, putting her things there.

She crossed her arms, pinning Lexa with an annoyed look.

"You don’t really have anything to say to me?"

Lexa continued to ignore her, turning a page of her book.

 

Clarke wasn’t a person who easily lost patience, but Lexa was apparently testing her limits.

She wasn’t even looking at her.

Acting on impulse, Clarke took three long strides, finding herself at Lexa’s bedside, and before the latter even knew it, Clarke snatched the book from her hands.

"What the hell do you think you’re doing, Clarke?" Lexa asked, getting up from the bed, an angry look on her face.

"Well, I managed to get your attention, finally" Clarke started to say, raising an eyebrow, "Now, maybe you can explain to me why you are such a huge hypocrite, and, let me tell you, a really insufferable asshole too."

Without waiting for an answer, and trying not to think how the girl looked kind of threatening, Clarke kept talking.

"You were rude when I was talking to Finn last week, all you do is huff and look annoyed whenever Octavia is here. You really think you can keep acting this way, doing as you please, disregarding completely how I might feel about it?”

 

Lexa was silent for a few seconds, looking at Clarke taking a deep breath. A smile appeared on her face, and Clarke felt puzzled for a moment.

"What, are you jealous?"

Clarke looked indignant, but didn’t answer, just shaking her head.

Without another word, Lexa started to leave the room, but before he could do it, Clarke stepped in front of the door, preventing the girl to leave.

"Move, Clarke" Lexa ordered.

"Oh, I don’t think so. We have not finished our discussion, you can’t leave like this, Lexa. "

 

Clearly annoyed, Lexa approached Clarke, but the latter did not give up, raising slightly her head to look straight at Lexa.

"Instead of showing so much attention to me" Lexa started to say, "Why don’t you give more attention to your dear, sweet boyfriend? Or doesn’t your relationship satisfy you anymore? Maybe it has never really satisfied you."

 

Without thinking twice, Clarke raised her hand to slap Lexa’s smirk off her face. But it was easily blocked by the girl, who took her wrist firmly.

A mocking laugh came out of her mouth.

"I feel really sorry for you, Clarke" she whispered without taking her eyes off of Clarke’s blue ones, "You must have a very boring life, if you want to know so much about mine."

"No" Clarke muttered, "You're not sorry. You don’t feel anything, do you? You can’t feel anything, because you just block any emotion you might feel even before you can put a name on it. Tell me I'm wrong, Lexa. "

Lexa looked at her without saying anything, an enigmatic expression on her face.

 

Clarke couldn’t help but notice how close they were. Too close. Lexa's body against hers, her hand still holding Clarke’s wrist, her fingers caressing the palm of her hand without Lexa even realizing it.

Green eyes were fixed on hers, full lips that Clarke envied and wanted to bite at the same time so close to hers. Lips that seemed to get even closer.

 

A phone rang, breaking the surreal moment. Clarke pushed Lexa away, who took two steps back, looking almost dazed.

Clarke could herself starting to panic. And thanks to the new distance created between them, she could finally think again coherently. She had no intention of thinking about the reason why she couldn’t do it just a few moments before.

So she took her things and left the room, avoiding the confused look on Lexa’s face.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa looked as Clarke left the room.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, looking up at the ceiling. What the fuck was she thinking when she was about to kiss Clarke?

Shaking her head, she opened her eyes. Running a hand through her hair, she walked up to her bed, where her cell phone was ringing.

She couldn’t help but smile when she saw who was calling her.

 

"Hey, Anya."

"Lexa, what were you doing? You took your sweet time answering the phone" Anya said.

"I was asleep" Lexa lied, sitting on her bed.

"Yeah, I bet. I slept a lot too when I was in college" Anya said with a chuckle, "Come on, Lexa, tell me everything. Who were you with? Have you already slept with her? "

"For God's sake, Anya..." Lexa said laughing, "Something like 'how are you' would have been more than enough, you know?"

"You know I’m not much for pleasantries."

"Yeah" Lexa muttered with a smile.

"Well?"

"I was with my roommate, that's all."

"Really?" Anya asked skeptically, "Is she hot?"

"Oh God..."

"I'll take that as a yes."

 

As much as she made her feel exasperated sometimes, Lexa really missed Anya since she had moved to college.

And even if it embarrassed her a little, Lexa knew she could talk about everything with her, she could ask her anything and she would always receive an honest answer from Anya.

Before she could think about it, she decided to ask her a question.

"Anya, what would you do if you were attracted in a purely physical way to another person?”

 

There were a few seconds of silence before Lexa got an answer.

"I’d have sex with them, of course. If it's just physical attraction, and the person is consenting and willing, then why not? And maybe when you're done with it, you won’t think about it anymore. You’ll have gotten it out of your system, you know?"

"Sure..."

She expected an answer like that from Anya, she wasn’t surprised at all. But she also knew, given the circumstances, that she couldn’t do anything about it.

 

"Who are you talking about, Lexa?" Anya asked with a serious tone.

"Nobody."

"Bullshit. I was your mentor when it came to girls, I helped you, you owe me. Come on, shoot. "

Lexa got out of bed and began to pace the room.

"I'm just going to say that she’s not available."

"Okay, but when has that ever stopped you before?"

 

Anya was right. But there were so many things she didn’t know, she just didn’t know anything about the situation, really. And for some weird reason, Lexa didn’t want to talk about the attraction she felt for her roommate.

She didn’t want to talk about Clarke with anyone. It was almost as if she wanted to keep her for herself.

 

"Let’s talk about something else, please" Lexa begged her, leaning on her shelf, "How are mom and dad? Have you heard from them these days?"

"If by ‘heard from them’ you mean that I sat through mom’s whining while she drank an entire bottle of vodka, while dad is having an affair with his 20-year-old secretary, then yes, I heard from them all right" Anya sighed deeply, "Thank God we were adopted, at least we’re not in danger of ending up like her or him. "

"Yeah, I don’t think it works like that, Anya."

 

They both went quiet.

Lexa couldn’t help but feel saddened whenever she thought of her parents, of the miserable life they both led.

She couldn’t understand how they could still be together when resentment and misery were the only things supporting the skeleton of a union between two people who had vowed to love each other until death.

Lexa and Anya were able to see firsthand the love between their parents die, slowly and inevitably. And neither of them had been able to do anything about it.

 

"Lexa, I don’t want to sound all mushy or shit like that, that’s really not me and you know it, but... you know that I am and will always be there for you, right? You're my little sister" Anya said with determination in her voice.

Lexa smiled, wishing in that moment, more than ever, that Anya was there with her.

"I know."

* * *

 

 

The light from the window was the first thing she saw when she opened her eyes.

But that wasn’t the reason Clarke woke up.

No, a strange sound, something that sounded familiar and yet unknown at the same time.

And then, she heard it again. It sounded like... a groan.

Worried that Lexa was hurting in some way, Clarke turned slowly, surprised by what she saw.

 

Lexa lying on her bed, her white tank top pulled up above her breasts. And she wasn’t wearing a bra.

Clarke gulped when her eyes fell on the girl's small breasts, her hard nipples, a hand touching first one breast, then the other.

When Clarke heard another moan, this time louder, she glanced at Lexa’s other hand, which was moving frantically inside her panties.

Clarke could not take her eyes off of her, entranced.

She had never felt as turned on as she was feeling in that moment.

 

She was about to imitate Lexa’s movements on her own body, her hand about to get into her pajama bottoms, when Lexa caught her attention again.

"Clarke" she moaned, the hand she was using to fondle her breasts before was now clenching the blanket, her other hand between her legs moving even faster.

 

Clarke couldn’t hold back her own moan.

And when Lexa looked at her with a look on her face full of surprise and embarrassment, calling her name again without stopping her movements, Clarke got out of bed.

Without taking her eyes off of Lexa, she climbed on her bed, sitting next to her.

Lexa was looking into her eyes, her own excited and determined.

 

Clarke was tempted to remove Lexa’s hand who was helping her in reaching her orgasm to replace it with hers, but there was something about watching the other girl masturbating that excited her.

Lexa was even more stunning when she touched herself.

 

Moving her hand slowly, Clarke didn’t tear her eyes off Lexa’s while she touched her breasts for the first time.

Lexa released another moan in Clarke’s mouth when she captured her lips in a fiery kiss. Their tongues met for the first time, while Clarke touched eagerly one breast, then the other.

 

She broke the kiss, reluctantly, and Lexa tried to kiss her again; but Clarke's mouth moved to her neck, kissing it. Closing her eyes, she moved to take one of her nipples between her lips, licking, biting, making Lexa moan even more.

 

She went back to kiss her lips, while a hand moved over Lexa’s that was still in her panties.

Breaking the kiss so she could see their movements, Clarke was completely amazed.

"Clarke, I'm... I'm coming" Lexa said.

Clarke looked at her, noticing her breathing becoming faster and faster.

She put her mouth against Lexa’s.

"Then come, Lexa" she whispered, kissing her.

The movement of their hands became faster, and this time it was Lexa who broke the kiss.

"Clarke!"

 

Clarke raised her head up when she heard a strange sound.

She opened her eyes, feeling disoriented.

It was just a dream.

She turned to her bedside, where her phone’s alarm was ringing loudly.

Sighing, she turned it off.

When she sat on the edge of the bed, tucking her feet into her slippers, she tried to ignore the effect that the dream had on her body. She was turned on. And she had no time to take a shower. _Perfect_.

 

Unable to resist the temptation, she glanced to look at Lexa, seeing that she was still sleeping.

She couldn’t help but notice that she looked a little different when she slept. She seemed relaxed. She looked adorable.

Shaking her head, Clarke rubbed her eyes with both hands, thinking that that dream definitely did a number on her, and maybe if she washed her face with cold water she would have come to her senses.

When she closed the bathroom door behind her, she didn’t see, however, that Lexa was awake, a familiar smirk on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

_"Clarke, I'm coming."_

Shaking her head, Clarke tried to pay attention to the professor. It wasn’t easy when she could clearly hear in her mind the loud moans of ‘dream Lexa’. But now it was mostly a nightmare. The more she tried not to think about it, the more she did.

 

Nibbling her pen, she couldn’t help but think about how everything seemed so real: the kisses, the way she touched Lexa’s breasts, their hands moving together...

No, Lexa could not have that effect on her. She was a bad person, she was selfish and incredibly annoying.

Finn was the only person who should have been able to make her feel that way.

 

And yet, Clarke had to admit that she had never been as excited as she was a few hours before. And even then, in a class with other thirty people of all places, she knew that those stupid thoughts, those memories of that traitorous dream, didn’t make her feel indifferent, at all.

 

When class was finally over, she got out of the room in less than a minute, taking the phone immediately from her jeans pocket.

She was thinking  of sending a text to Finn, but she had no idea what to say to him. What she wanted to say seemed so forced, so trivial.

She wanted to tell him she wanted him to be there with her, but it wasn’t true.

She wanted to tell him that she missed him, but she wasn’t sure of that.

She wanted to tell him that she loved him, but she hesitated too long.

She found herself in front of her room’s door, and, after having put the phone in her pocket, she walked in, hoping that Lexa was at class or something.

Fortunately for Clarke, she wasn’t in the room.

 

Clarke was going to meet with Octavia at the café, so she quickly emptied her bag of some books.

While she was zipping up her bag, Lexa came into the room. Clarke wasn’t so lucky as she thought, apparently.

Looking at her discreetly, Clarke noticed the weird little smile on her face. She had seen that smile too many times, when Lexa was pleased about something, but there was more. Clarke had no idea what to think about it.

 

"What?" she asked obviously annoyed, feeling Lexa’s eyes on her.

"Hello to you too, Clarke" the girl replied, closing the door behind her, still watching Clarke, "Going somewhere?"

"Now you're in the mood to talk? You, the girl with the monosyllabic answers?"

"I'm just curious, Clarke" Lexa said approaching her, "You’re not going to answer my question?"

"Why do you keep saying my name like that?" Clarke asked annoyed, as she turned to the other girl.

 

She didn’t want to think about the way ‘dream Lexa’ said her name, she didn’t want to think about the desperate desire so clear in her voice.

But it was too late, images flashed through her mind, ghosts of gasps that she had not really felt on her lips, the taste of Lexa’s mouth...

 

"What do you mean, Clarke?" Lexa asked innocently, interrupting Clarke’s dangerous thoughts.

"I have to go" she said walking towards the door.

But Lexa stopped her by calling her name.

"What do you want, Lexa?"

Ignoring the tone of exasperation in her voice, Lexa closed the distance slowly.

"Do you really have to go?" she said softly, touching Clarke’s body with hers.

Clarke cleared her throat, trying not to show the effect that the sudden closeness had on her.

"Yes, I have to go."

"It’s such a shame" Lexa muttered, brushing Clarke’s hair with her mouth, moving to her ear.

 

Clarke really wanted to open the door and leave, but she was too shocked by Lexa’s unusual behavior to do something. She felt as if she was paralyzed, as if the other girl’s breath wasn’t allowing her to make any movement. Maybe Clarke didn’t really want to move.

 

When Lexa’s mouth brushed her neck, leaving a little kiss, then another, and another again, Clarke thought that tying her hair in a ponytail that morning had been a really great idea.

She dropped her shoulder bag on the floor and moved her head to give more space to Lexa, wanting to feel that mouth everywhere.

She felt her hands move to her hips, pulling her in until their bodies fully met.

Clarke let out a little moan, while Lexa left small bites and sensual kisses, her hands running dangerously over her body.

 

"You taste so good, Clarke" Lexa whispered in her ear, her hands touching her breasts over the shirt with desire.

"Lexa ..."

Turning to her, Clarke could only see her blown pupils, before she kissed her.

Dream Lexa was nothing compared to the real Lexa.

 

Clarke drew Lexa even closer with one hand behind her head, and when Lexa suddenly bit her lower lip she couldn’t feel her legs for a moment, before meeting Clarke’s tongue with her own.

Both broke away for breath, while Lexa’s hands kept on touching Clarke’s breasts. Then she lowered her left hand on her pants, unbuttoning them easily.

 

But then, Clarke’s phone rang, letting her know that she had just got a text.

It was worse than a cold shower.

Breathing heavily, her eyes wide open, she pulled away immediately from Lexa, buttoning up her jeans.

She turned towards her, noticing her red cheeks and her fast breathing. She was even more attractive than usual.

Shaking her head, Clarke took her phone, seeing that Octavia was looking for her, asking her where she was.

"I have to go" she said while picking up the bag from the floor.

Lexa didn’t have time to say anything before Clarke opened the door and let it slam shut behind her.

But she couldn’t help but smile when, licking her lips, she could still feel Clarke’s sweet taste.

 

* * *

 

 

Clarke walked in the café, out of breath from running there from the dorm.

She saw Octavia sitting at a table near the counter, with two cups of coffee in front of her, and she walked over to join her.

Noticing the toothy grin on her friend’s face, Clarke was confused.

"Why that face?"

"Guess what?!"

"You got an A?" Clarke asked, sitting on the chair in front of the other girl, "No, knowing you it can’t be that."

Octavia glared at her.

"I see that you have so much faith in me, huh" she said, showing her the cup of coffee she held in her hands with the same huge smile she had moments before, "Look."

Clarke got closer to see the cup better, seeing that there was a phone number written near Octavia’s name.

"Is that what I think it is? Lincoln finally gave you his number? "

"Yes!" Octavia said, looking at the cup with an happy look on her face.

Clarke smiled, "Well, it was about time. I think everyone here has seen the way he looks at you. I'm happy for you, O. "

"Yeah, I'm happy for me too" Octavia sighed dreamily, turning to look at the counter where Lincoln was making a coffee.

Clarke looked at her friend, feeling really happy for her.

 

When Octavia turned back to Clarke, the look on her face changed, having become confused.

"What?" Clarke asked worried.

"Did something happen? You seem a little different” Octavia said watching her intensely, "Your eyes, for example."

"What’s wrong with my eyes?"

"It’s like they’re… shining, or something."

Clarke laughed nervously, taking a sip of her coffee.

"I think this thing with Lincoln kinda made you crazy."

"I don’t think so" Octavia shook her head, placing a hand on her cheek. Then her eyes widened, gasping before she said, "Oh, my God. You had sex with Lexa!”

 

Clarke, who was taking a sip of coffee, began to cough when she choked on it.

Octavia laughed, moving closer to her friend to give her a few pats on her back.

"Congrats, Clarke. Now don’t die, please. I think Lexa wants you very much alive. "

Looking at her with a look that wasn’t amused at all, Clarke replied.

"I didn’t have sex with her, Octavia."

"But something happened, I know it. I have some kind of sixth sense when it comes to these things. "

"You have a sixth sense for lesbian sex?"

"Okay, now that sounds bad” Octavia admitted, "But I know that something happened. Come on, tell me everything. "

 

Clarke sighed, looking at the cup in front of her.

"We kissed, that's all."

"That's all? Really?" Octavia looked at her doubtfully.

"Okay, maybe there was some touching, but really, it was nothing" Clarke said, thinking back to Lexa’s hand touching her breasts, feeling herself starting to blush.

"I bet my text stopped you from going further, huh?"

When Clarke didn’t say anything, an 'oops' came out of Octavia’s mouth.

 

"It's good that you sent that text right in that moment, trust me" Clarke reassured her after both of them went quiet for a moment.

"Yeah, well... I can’t imagine how you’re gonna handle this, she’s your roommate, and you're with Finn..."

"Oh God..." Clarke sighed heavily, putting a hand on her forehead and shaking her head, "Finn."

Octavia looked at her without saying anything, giving her a little pat on the back.

 

"Oh God, I'm a really shitty person."

"No, I don’t think you are" Octavia said sincerely, "I won’t say that you made a mistake, and I won’t tell you that you did the right thing. I'm not here to judge you, but I think you should talk with both Lexa and Finn. "

Clarke nodded, standing up.

"You’re right. I have to talk to them. I have to explain to Lexa that it was just a mistake. And I have to tell Finn what happened, it’s the least I can do" she said, lowering her head, "I mean, I love him. "

Feeling a heavy weight on her stomach, Clarke said goodbye to Octavia, before leaving.

 

* * *

 

 

The first thing Clarke did when she left the café, was calling Finn.

"Hey, princess!"

"Hey, Finn" she said, "How are you?"

"I’m okay, yeah. How are you?"

"I'm fine" Clarke said, walking slowly towards the dormitory.

Taking a deep breath, she tried to calm the anxiety she felt growing every second.

"I guess college has kept you busy lately" Finn said, "It’s been a while since we last spoke to each other."

Clarke laughed nervously, "Yeah... I'm just studying a lot, you know?"

The truth was that she didn’t really think about talking to Finn, at all. She hated to admit it, but her boyfriend was the last of her thoughts.

Clarke felt terribly guilty, and not just for what happened with Lexa.

 

"Come on, tell me what you’ve been up to these days” Clarke encouraged him.

She listened to Finn talking about his job, how he went out with his friends for a drink the night before, about how much he was pissed when his favorite football team lost the latest game.

And Clarke couldn’t wait to end the call.

She was surprised by her own thoughts, because she never felt anything like this before. She always liked talking to Finn, hearing him talk about anything, teasing him.

But she realized that she wasn’t really listening to him anymore when, after finding herself in front of her room’s door, she remembered the feeling of Lexa’s hot breath on her ear, her words whispered in a voice that made her feel things that Finn was never able to.

He had never been able to touch Clarke in the way Lexa touched her, he never made her feel like she was losing her mind because of a simple touch.

 

Clarke opened the door with a deep breath, hoping that Lexa was out.

Obviously, this time she wasn’t so lucky.

The two girls looked at each other for a long time. Lexa at first seemed surprised to see her, but then her usual look of indifference replaced the surprised one.

Finn was still talking, and Clarke interrupted him, without taking her eyes off Lexa.

"Sorry, Finn, I have to go."

"Oh, okay" Finn said, sounding a little disappointed, "I love you, Clarke."

After a brief moment of silence, Clarke replied to him, looking away from Lexa.

"I love you too, Finn. Bye" she said quietly, hanging up.

Suddenly, breathing became more difficult for her.

 

Taking a deep breath, she turned to Lexa, with a resolute look on her face. They had to talk.

But she didn’t expect to meet angry eyes.

Before Clarke could ask what was wrong, Lexa spoke.

"I think it’s a little odd..."

"What?" Clarke asked when Lexa didn’t say anything else.

"I think it’s odd that you can say to your boyfriend that you love him, when not even an hour ago I was about to fuck you against the door."

Clarke rolled her eyes, crossing her arms.

"What do you want me to say, Lexa? It's the truth... I love Finn. "

"You don’t seem so sure of that" Lexa said, "And there’s also the way you kissed me before..."

"Okay, you know what? First of all, mind your own business, please. My love life has nothing to do with you" Clarke said approaching her, "And that kiss... what happened before means nothing, okay?"

 

They were both quiet for a few moments. Clarke thought that maybe she had gone too far, especially when she thought she saw a hurt look on Lexa’s otherwise emotionless face. But she knew she had to do it, she had to end this, whatever it was, before it really started.

But then, Lexa showed her usual smirk, and Clarke knew she was going to say something that she wouldn’t have liked at all.

"So that dream didn’t mean anything?"

“How do you know…?”

“You talk in your sleep. And the noises you made didn’t sound innocent at all.”

Blushing, Clarke took a step back, looking elsewhere.

"No, it meant absolutely nothing. Not that dream, and neither that stupid kiss" she said firmly, shaking her head, "God, I'm really tired of your bullshit."

 

Clarke turned away, walking towards the door.

But Lexa took her by the arm, making her turn around.

Clarke, feeling herself starting to get really mad, was about to tell her to let her go, but the words died in her mouth when Lexa kissed her.

And without thinking twice, Clarke kissed her back.

Lexa backed Clarke up against the door, taking first one hand, then the other, slamming them against the door, entwining their fingers.

Clarke was weak for giving in so quickly. She knew that. But she wanted to convince herself that she would have definitely pushed Lexa away, if the girl hadn’t used her tongue to make Clarke go crazy, and if she hadn’t pushed her leg between hers.

Clarke was weak, at least when it came to Lexa. But deep down, she didn’t mind this at all.

 

"Tell me you don’t want it, Clarke" Lexa whispered, kissing her neck, "Tell me you don’t want this, and I'll stop."

But all Clarke did was freeing one hand to run it through Lexa’s long hair, encouraging her to keep going. Feeling the girl's smile against her neck, she freed her other hand to bring Lexa’s face close to hers, kissing her passionately.

Lexa’s hands moved to her hips, then down to her bottom, touching it firmly.

Clarke moaned in Lexa’s mouth.

 

Lexa brought down her hands to Clarke’s thighs, and before the latter could tell her that she would rather have her hands where they were before, Lexa lifted her with no effort at all, as if Clarke weighed nothing.

Wrapping her legs around Lexa’s hips, Clarke broke the kiss, looking surprised.

"You're stronger than you look" she said with obvious admiration and desire in her eyes.

"I know" Lexa said, kissing her again.

 

Walking up to her bed, Lexa dropped Clarke on it, getting on top of her and being careful not to crush her with her weight.

They kissed until they had to come up for air, getting rid of Clarke’s shirt first, then Lexa’s. Moving her bra, Lexa couldn’t wait any longer, wanting to touch Clarke’s breasts, their mouths brushing with both breathing heavily.

Clarke encouraged her by placing a hand on top of hers. Lexa started touching her nipple, doing the same thing to the other with her other hand.

Annoyed by Clarke’s bra, which wasn’t allowing much movement, Lexa quickly unhooked it, throwing it somewhere in the room. She started touching her again, kissing her neck, biting it, and squeezing Clarke’s breasts.

 

"I think I have finally found something that I like about you" Lexa said.

"Shut up, Lexa" Clarke told her, kissing her.

After putting some distance to remove her bra, Lexa noticed Clarke's eyes fixed on her breasts, feeling very smug.

She kissed her briefly, before starting to kiss all over her body, stopping at her breasts, giving them attention with small bites and licking her nipples. Clarke moaned, begging her not to stop, one hand clutching her hair. It was something Lexa clearly liked, since she moaned too, as her hands wandered, stopping on Clarke’s pants.

 

She unbuttoned them and lowered the zipper when she saw that Clarke had no intention of stopping her, and, reluctantly pulling away her mouth from her breast, Lexa finally took off her pants. Without taking her eyes off Clarke, she also removed her panties, leaving her completely naked.

Not wanting to wait any longer, Lexa decided to take off her pants and panties together, throwing them behind her.

 

Clarke was mesmerized by the sight in front of her.

Lexa was beautiful. A Greek statue compared to her was nothing.

When she saw her smirking, she kissed her, lying down and taking Lexa with her. She had no intention of giving her any satisfaction.

No, all she wanted in that moment, was for Lexa to fuck her so hard, for so long that she would make her forget her own name.

 

She felt a chill run down her spine when Lexa touched her thigh, then between her legs.

She broke the kiss when she felt Lexa’s fingers on her clit, moaning loudly.

Slow movements became faster, while Clarke’s hands clung to Lexa’s back, their breaths mingling.

 

Lexa paused for a moment, leaving Clarke confused.

Then, Clarke felt two fingers inside her, and she closed her eyes.

"Look at me" Lexa said after stopping.

Opening her eyes, and meeting Lexa’s fierce ones, Clarke felt as if she was living a surreal moment, as the girl above her began to thrust her fingers inside her, moving her body against hers, her other hand holding the pillow next to Clarke’s head.

 

Clarke scratched her nails down Lexa’s back when the girl touched a spot Clarke didn’t even know existed.

Lexa paralyzed the girl beneath her with an intense look in her eyes, going faster, the palm of her hand touching her clit with each movement of her fingers.

"Is this what you like, Clarke? Being fucked by your roommate? Letting everyone hear you scream, because I’m fucking you so good?" Lexa whispered on Clarke’s mouth, taking her lower lip between her teeth, letting it go after kissing it.

"Lexa..." Clarke said, feeling even more turned on when she thought that other people maybe could really hear them having sex.

 

Moments later, between gasps, loud moans and Lexa who kept whispering indecent things on her mouth, Clarke knew that she was about to come.

Lexa’s thrusts became even faster, and Clarke could not tear her eyes from hers, so full of determination, so ardent.

And when Lexa told her to let herself go, Clarke did, reaching her climax, getting lost in the deepest green she had ever seen.


	2. Est-ce que tu aimes le sexe?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I deeply apologize if there are many innacurate things, grammar mistakes, etc.  
> Thank you for the overwhelming response to the first chapter! Enjoy this one ;)

Clarke’s bed smelled differently.

It was a stronger scent, not very sweet, but a really nice one.

Holding the pillow closer to her face, she took a deep breath, finding that peculiar scent irresistible. She let out a relaxed sigh, and with a smile on her face, she opened her eyes.

She was shocked when she saw Lexa sitting next to her, with a book in her hands, her eyes fixed on Clarke. And she was completely naked.

Clarke’s heart started beating faster when she remembered what happened before.

 

She wished it was all just a dream, that she would wake up and she would laugh about it; but she couldn’t ignore the soreness she felt all over her body, she couldn’t help but notice the hickeys that Lexa left on her breasts. Hickeys that the girl may have left on her neck too.

She remembered vividly the way Lexa kissed her, touched her, until she gave her the most intense orgasm Clarke had ever experienced in her life.

 

"Finally, you're awake" Lexa said, looking away from Clarke, switching her attention back to her book.

"Oh God, no..." Clarke groaned, hiding her face in her hands, "No, no, no, no."

When she realized that Lexa wasn’t going to say anything, showing only indifference, Clarke sat on the bed, looking at the other girl with surprise written all over her face.

"How can you be so calm about this?"

"One of us has to be" Lexa told her, turning a page of her book.

When Clarke let out an annoyed huff, Lexa looked at her again, with the intention of saying something else, but she felt her words stuck in her throat when she saw that the sheet fell down a little, exposing Clarke’s breasts.

 

Noticing the intense way in which Lexa was looking at her, Clarke looked down, feeling embarrassed when she saw that she wasn’t as covered up as she thought.

She got out of bed, taking the sheet with her, and making sure to cover herself completely.

"It's nothing that I haven’t seen before, you know" Lexa said from behind her.

"Just… shut up, Lexa" Clarke said, picking up her clothes from the floor.

"Why don’t you make me shut up, Clarke?"

Clarke turned around to face the other girl again, feeling exasperated.

 

And then she felt paralyzed, unable to think coherently.

Lexa stood up from her bed, and was walking slowly towards her, with a grace in her movements that Clarke envied. And she was still very much naked.

Clarke's eyes devoured every inch of her body: her breasts, her hips, which were moving sensually. Her eyes went up, admiring the tattoo on Lexa’s arm that she had been able only to catch a glimpse of until that moment.

Blue eyes looked down her body again, staring at the other girl’s well defined abs, feeling the sudden urge to touch them.

 

Her thoughts were interrupted when she heard Lexa clear her throat, and, looking up, Clarke saw the arrogant smile on the girl’s face. She wasn’t really surprised.

She took a few steps back when she saw Lexa getting closer and closer, until she found herself with her back against the wall.

 

Lexa leaned her body against Clarke’s, raising a hand to move a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.

Clarke tried to suppress a shudder, but to no avail. Lexa’s warm body and her unusually delicate touch were enough to make her stop thinking completely about anything.

She hated the control that Lexa seemed to have on her. But she also loved it.

And when she felt her warm breath against her neck, her kisses, her hands touching her bottom, Clarke knew that she couldn’t resist Lexa, not even if she tried.

Clarke was a moth, and Lexa was the flame.

She was, without a doubt, fatally attracted to her.

 

Clarke dropped the sheet she had around her body, and Lexa touched her thigh, lifting Clarke’s leg to her hips.

Catching her lips in a kiss that took both of their breaths away, Clarke held Lexa closer, as if she was afraid she might leave her.

 

They kept kissing each other passionately, before Clarke broke the kiss to catch her breath.

Lexa kissed her neck, raising the hand that was touching her bottom up to her breasts, touching it with desire.

 

Clarke put her hands through Lexa’s hair, pulling slightly on them when Lexa moved the hand from her thigh to finally touch her between her legs.

"You're so wet already" Lexa whispered in her ear, touching her clit slowly, before running two fingers through her folds, "I bet your boyfriend can’t make you feel the way I can.”

 

Opening her eyes, Clarke pushed the other girl away forcefully.

A little stunned at first, Lexa looked at Clarke with aroused eyes, an amused smile on her face.

"Does the truth scare you so much, Clarke?"

"Fuck you, Lexa" Clarke said with a frown, "Seriously, fuck you."

 

Lexa laughed, watching the other girl getting dressed. She picked up the sheet from the floor, throwing it on her bed.

"Well, I guess it was fun while it lasted" she said lying on her bed, taking the book she was reading before and opening it.

Clarke glared at her after she put on her shirt.

"You just don’t know what shame is, do you?”

"No, but clearly it's something you're feeling right now, am I right?"

Clarke didn’t answer her, taking instead some things she needed, resisting the temptation to glance at her for a last time before she left.

 

* * *

 

After spending the weekend in Octavia’s room, Clarke knew she couldn’t hide in there forever. Or rather, she couldn’t hide until the end of the school year, as much as she wanted to.

 

Clarke wanted to tell her friend what happened between her and Lexa, after Octavia asked her if she had the chance to talk to her.

But even though she really wanted to get it out of her chest, even though she knew Octavia wouldn’t have judged her, for some reason she just couldn’t tell her the truth, telling her instead that she and Lexa reached a truce and that everything was fine.

She was afraid that if she said it out loud, then everything would have become too real.

Because she couldn’t deny it: she had sex with Lexa.

The fact that Clarke loved every second of it was the worst part.

And she would have done it again, if Lexa hadn’t opened her stupid mouth, provoking her.

 

Then Clarke thought of Finn, feeling nauseous all of a sudden.

She cheated on him. She cheated on him almost twice, and Clarke couldn’t help thinking about how selfish she really was, for thinking that having enjoyed sex with Lexa was more important than the fact that she cheated on her boyfriend.

 

She didn’t feel the same things for him, not anymore, not with the same intensity as before; but it was normal, she thought. They were far from each other, it had been almost two months since the last time they saw each other, she was living her life, and he was living his; but this certainly didn’t mean that she was no longer in love with him.

No, she loved him. Clarke loved him.

Finn was always there for her, even in her worst moments, like she was for him. One single mistake couldn’t just wipe out a one-year-long relationship, right?

 

Clarke tried drawing Finn’s smiling face. But her traitorous hands could only draw Lexa’s beautiful facial features.

She tried to remember Finn’s kisses, his touch. But she could only remember the taste of Lexa’s mouth, her hands touching her body greedily.

 

She tried to talk with him on the phone, wanting to feel something besides the constant nausea. She tried to send him a few texts to let him know that she missed him, even though a part of her told her that maybe it wasn’t true.

She could only think about Lexa’s voice, the obscene words she whispered while she pleasured Clarke with her fingers.

 

Fortunately, she succeeded in avoiding Lexa those days.

She hadn’t seen her for almost a week, as weird as it seemed, since they were roommates.

Whenever Clarke came back in their room at a late hour (perhaps on purpose), Lexa was already sleeping.

When Clarke woke in the morning, Lexa was already gone.

She would have never admitted it, but every time she saw her empty bed, or Lexa sleeping with her back to her, Clarke could feel a knot in her stomach, something that felt too much like disappointment.

She would have never admitted that maybe she missed Lexa.

 

Until one Thursday afternoon, Clarke saw her.

 

She was studying in the college library with Octavia, although her friend wasn’t really doing much studying, her attention completely taken by her cell phone.

Clarke decided to take a short break, and she started teasing the other girl, asking her how things were going with Lincoln. When she looked away for a moment, she felt her heart stopping for a second.

Lexa was sitting alone, about 30 feet from where she was.

It was obvious that she was studying some difficult stuff, the pile of books and encyclopedias on her table were a dead giveaway.

Plus, there was a look of total concentration on her face.

Clarke thought she looked really cute.

 

"Clarke? You okay? "Octavia asked, turning to see what it was that drew the other girl’s attention," Oh okay, now I get it. "

Feeling embarrassed, Clarke looked at Octavia.

"I'm just... surprised to see her here. She usually studies in our room, you know. "

"Well, maybe she had a good reason to come here today" Octavia said while still looking at Lexa.

Intrigued, Clarke looked again to where her roommate was.

Lexa wasn’t alone anymore. A blonde girl had clearly decided to approach her, sitting almost shyly beside her, while Lexa was moving her books to make room on the table.

 

Clarke made a face when she saw the girl geting closer to Lexa, with the excuse to read better whatever was in the book, while Lexa presumably was explaining something she couldn’t understand.

Clarke would have bet anything that the girl’s intention wasn’t really to learn something educational. No, Clarke was pretty sure that she wanted a completely different kind of education.

 

"Okay, Clarke, either you’re about to shit yourself, or you’re jealous. You have a look on your face..." Octavia laughed, diverting Clarke’s attention from Lexa and her friend.

"What look?"

"The kind  of look that tells me you want to strangle that girl sitting next to Lexa."

Clarke felt a brief sense of panic, before she started laughing nervously.

"I’m not gonna strangle anyone, Octavia."

"If you say so..." her friend murmured, looking down at her phone when she got another text from Lincoln.

                                          

Looking at Octavia smiling like a little kid, Clarke was trying to find some courage to tell her the truth about what happened with Lexa, thinking about how she could tell her everything.

'Octavia, I lied. Lexa fucked me, almost twice, and I liked it way too much. I haven’t told you the truth right away because I feel ashamed for what I did, and I feel even more ashamed because I'd do it again if Lexa wouldn’t piss me off so much. '

 

No, it was too straightforward.

 

'Octavia, I’m a fucking liar, but I have a good reason to be. See, the thing is that I had sex with Lexa, and she was able to make me feel such incredible things in an hour, that Finn just couldn’t in our one-year-long relationship. Yep, Finn. I haven’t said anything to either of you because I’m afraid that everything would just become too real. Yes, I know, I'm a big coward, right?’

 

No, even worse.

 

Sighing, Clarke gave up, telling herself that it just wasn’t the right time to tell Octavia anything. Maybe there would have never been a right time.

She looked at Lexa again, not even trying to resist this strange need she felt to always look at her.

And suddenly, she felt like she wanted to break something.

 

The blonde girl sitting next to Lexa got even closer, like she wasn’t already pretty close to her before, and she was basically sitting on Lexa’s lap, a hand over hers while Lexa let the other girl whisper something in her ear.

Clarke watched them with a deep frown on her face, tightening the grip she had on the pencil she was holding in her right hand.

Then she saw Lexa putting a little distance between her and the girl, taking back her hand.

Clarke watched Lexa say something to the blonde girl, something the latter clearly didn’t like at all, since she took her stuff quickly and left.

Clarke tried to ignore the strange feeling of satisfaction growing within herself, a feeling that seemed a lot like relief too.

But she couldn’t, like she couldn’t ignore Lexa’s green eyes watching her from afar.

 

* * *

 

 

It was early afternoon, the day after seeing Lexa at the library, and Clarke was walking towards her room. She just wanted to go in, take what she needed, and leave. But before she could open the door, she heard a voice from inside the room.

Lexa was there, and it seemed like she was talking on the phone, since Clarke could only hear her voice.

 

Curious, Clarke got closer to the door.

"Yes, dad, I understand your concerns... everything is fine, really."

For a few moments there was only silence, then Lexa spoke again with a neutral tone in her voice.

"Of course, I will do better " a beat of silence, and then Lexa sighed, "Okay, bye."

Clarke took a deep breath, opening the door.

 

As soon as she walked in the room, she saw Lexa sitting on her bed, with her eyes lowered on her cellphone, holding it with both of her hands.

She didn’t even glance at Clarke as the girl looked for the book she needed. Clarke thought she should have felt a little relieved, thinking of the ridiculous way Lexa’s eyes affected her so much.

But she couldn’t deny that she was worried about her. So, forgetting for a moment about her book, she turned towards Lexa.

"Is there something wrong? You don’t look fine. "

"Thank you, Clarke" Lexa told her with a dark chuckle, "Now feel free to leave."

Clarke shook her head, rolling her eyes.

"Okay, I tried."

Taking her bag, she was about to leave, with or without her book she didn’t really care. She would have rather stayed as far away as possible from Lexa.

 

"Wait" Lexa said stopping her, "What were you looking for?"

Clarke looked at her, noticing the tired look on her face.

"My English book.”

Standing up from her bed, Lexa started walking towards Clarke.

"What are you doing?" Clarke asked alarmed, backing away slightly.

"I’m going to help you look for it, what do you think I'm doing?" Lexa said, looking confused.

Clarke muttered an 'okay', before both girls began to search for the book in the room.

 

Clarke stole a few glances at Lexa while the other girl wasn’t looking.

It was obvious that there was something that was troubling her, judging by the upset look on her face.

Even if Lexa was kind of a bitch, Clarke found it impossible not to worry about her. She couldn’t really understand why she felt that way about the other girl, she couldn’t explain it; the only thing she knew for sure, was that she couldn’t help it.

 

"There it is" Lexa said interrupting Clarke’s thoughts, taking the book, which was half hidden under a shirt, giving it to her.

Clarke smiled at her, thanking her and taking the book.

"You’re welcome" Lexa said with a shrug, sitting back on her bed.

Clarke looked at her with hesitation, feeling torn.

She wasn’t really in a hurry, and Lexa looked really distressed. Also, she did just help her, even finding the book.

Stifling any doubt she had, Clarke put the book down on her bed, and walked towards Lexa.

 

"Lexa, are you okay?"

Shaking her head, Lexa smiled bitterly.

"I’m just fine" she told her with her eyes on the floor, sighing heavily, "My father is just a bastard who demands perfection from me, that's all. And I'm the stupid idiot who’s ready to do anything to make him proud."

Clarke sat down beside her, not knowing what to say.

But Lexa kept talking.

"A B+, a fucking B+, and it’s like an insult to him. As if I did it on purpose. As if I got an F, as if I might lose a year. "

Without thinking, Clarke moved her hand closer to Lexa’s, withdrawing it immediately when she realized what she was doing.

"I'm sorry, Lexa" she said instead, trying to meet the other girl’s gaze, "It can’t be easy constantly trying to meet the expectations of a person you care about."

 

Both of them went quiet for a moment, then Lexa finally looked up, meeting Clarke’s eyes.

"Why do I have the feeling that you know exactly what I'm going through?"

Clarke sighed, looking away for a moment.

"Because I have someone who has strong expectations for my future too."

"Still, there's something you're not telling me" Lexa said.

Hesitating, Clarke wasn’t really sure if she wanted to tell her everything.

But she was surprised when she felt a hand on hers.

Her eyes met Lexa’s, who was watching her in a very different way from the usual apathetic one.

 

"My mother..." Clarke said, shaking her head, "She wants me to become a doctor. A surgeon, perhaps. "

"But that's not who you want to become."

Clarke sighed, "Don’t get me wrong, I like to help people, I’m really good at it, but... it's not my passion."

When Lexa said nothing, Clarke kept talking, this time with a sincere smile on her face.

"I love to draw. It’s what I do best. And the only thing I could never get tired of, I'm sure."

 

Lexa looked at her with a smile that seemed full of admiration, but maybe Clarke was wrong, maybe it was all in her head.

"I think you should follow your dream, Clarke, rather than risk living a life full of regrets."

Clarke looked at her with bewildered eyes, feeling her heart beat faster when Lexa looked briefly at her lips.

"It's not that easy" she said in a shaky voice.

"It can be, if you truly want it" Lexa whispered, moving the hand that was holding Clarke’s on her thigh.

Clarke didn’t have the chance to say anything, since Lexa started kissing her.

 

Initially different from their other kisses because of its strange but welcome tenderness, everything changed when Lexa introduced her tongue in Clarke’s mouth, who drew the girl closer to her.

Lexa made her lie down on the bed, without interrupting the kiss, until they both felt the need to breathe.

With both hands on her hips, her green eyes locked on blue ones, Lexa began to lift Clarke’s shirt, until the girl rose her hips so she could help her in getting it off; not wanting to waste any time, she took off her bra, leaving Lexa astounded.

This time, it was Clarke who had a smirk on her face.

 

She brought Lexa in for another kiss, taking the girl with her as she fully lay on the bed.

Her hands began to caress Lexa’s back when she felt her kissing her neck, scratching it slightly when the girl’s mouth brushed over one of her breasts, taking a nipple between her teeth, licking it, sucking it, repeating the same things to the other.

 

Lexa stopped, moving away from Clarke’s body, and Clarke was about to complain, when she saw her taking off her clothes. And then Lexa was completely naked, any complain Clarke had dying in her mouth in a second.

Lexa helped Clarke getting rid of her jeans and panties, stopping for a moment to look at her, at her eyes full of lust, watching the rapid rise and fall of her chest, the blush on her cheeks.

 

Clarke, aware of Lexa’s stare, suddenly felt shy.

"What?"

Lexa shook her head with a small smile, not giving her an answer.

She kissed her, touching Clarke’s breasts, as the other girl squeezed one of hers.

But when Clarke moved her other hand to touch her between her legs, Lexa stopped, leaving Clarke confused.

 

"Don’t," Lexa said, taking Clarke’s hand and placing it against the bed, "Don’t touch me."

Clarke wanted to ask her why, but after noticing the panicked look on her face, she decided to hold in her curiosity.

 

Lexa started kissing all over her body, starting from her mouth, down on her breasts, leaving sweet kisses on her belly.

She kissed her thighs, leaving small bites everywhere she could.

 

When Clarke finally felt Lexa’s tongue where she wanted it the most, she couldn’t keep down the loud moan that came out of her mouth, moving her hips desperately, like she didn’t have any control of her body, wanting to feel more and more of Lexa’s mouth devouring her.

Spreading her legs wider, Clarke moved the other girl’s hair away, so she could see her face.

Lexa looked at her with wild eyes, and, as if her tongue wasn’t already enough to make Clarke lose her mind, she began to fuck her with two fingers.

Clarke moaned even louder, closing her eyes.

She really couldn’t keep up with Lexa’s fast and deep thrusts, her tongue on her clit, scraping her teeth on it occasionally.

 

Lexa touched a spot that made Clarke swear in a way she had never before, her eyes open again, so full of wonder and desire. Her hands pulled at Lexa’s hair, making the other girl moan deeply.

Then Clarke saw Lexa bring down her free hand over her own body, ending up between her legs. Clarke watched as Lexa started touching herself, knowing that she was about to come.

"I'm coming" she said without taking her eyes off Lexa.

Lexa’s movements got even faster, touching herself the same way she was touching Clarke, letting out a moan that the girl underneath her felt the vibrations of.

"Lexa!" Clarke screamed, clutching tightly the girl’s hair with one of her hands as she reached her orgasm, while the other grasped at the sheets.

When Lexa reached her own orgasm, her eyes burning on Clarke’s, the blonde couldn’t help but think that that was definitely the most beautiful thing she had ever seen in her life.

 

* * *

 

 

There was something seriously wrong with Clarke.

She really couldn’t understand how things could happen so quickly.

Five minutes before she was just walking into her room, just coming back from a seminar, and a few minutes later she was sitting on her desk, while Lexa fucked her furiously.

 

She was really starting to hate herself.

Not even 24 hours before, after Lexa made her come in a spectacular way, she told her firmly that that was the last time, that it wouldn’t happen again. Having sex with your roommate once could be justified as a thoughtless mistake, but doing it a second time was just stupid, selfish and completely immoral.

 

Lexa had looked at her with a smile, saying nothing, while both girls were putting their clothes back on.

Clarke hoped that she seemed convincing enough, but apparently the only person she really had to convince was herself.

She thought it was ridiculous how she couldn’t seem to control herself, how she couldn’t even stop for a moment and think that maybe it wasn’t such a great idea to have sex with someone who wasn’t Finn.

 

But when she walked in the room, and Lexa started checking her out, Clarke knew that something was going to happen.

She could feel the electricity in the air, it was undeniable, and she tried to ignore the way Lexa was basically undressing her with her eyes, but everything changed when, walking beside her to go to the bathroom, Lexa surprised her by stopping her with a hand on her arm, drawing her into a kiss that took both of their breaths away.

And when they parted and Lexa started kissing her neck, her hands wandering dangerously over her body, whispering in her ear how much she liked seeing her wearing a dress, Clarke realized that she wanted more than anything Lexa’s hands under that dress, she wanted her to tear it off of her, she wanted to feel her hands on her body, those long fingers inside her.

 

As if she was able to read her mind, Lexa kissed her, backing her against Clarke's desk, helping her sit on it.

Then everything happened so fast. Kisses became bites, as Lexa’s hands squeezed briefly her breasts, before lowering them to touch her legs. Taking off Clarke’s panties, she entered her with two fingers, starting to fuck her in an almost brutal way. Clarke loved it.

 

Clarke let out a loud groan when Lexa started touching her clit with her thumb, wrapping her legs tightly around her hips.

Holding her as close as possible, her fingers entwined in her hair (she had a strange obsession for those long brown hair), Clarke felt Lexa’s warm breath on her neck, feeling it brush her ear where Lexa started whispering indecent words.

Moaning even louder, Clarke knew she was about to reach her orgasm.

 

"Come on Clarke, come around my fingers, I love it when you do that" Lexa whispered, her thrusts getting harsher.

"Oh my God, Lexa!" Clarke shouted as she reached her orgasm, biting on the other girl’s covered shoulder, surprising her.

 

When Clarke recovered, she noticed Lexa’s intense gaze on her.

"What?" she asked confused, moving her hands to the other girl’s hips. Then her eyes widened, remembering what she did in the heat of the moment.

"Oh, shit. I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

"No" Lexa shook her head, "I liked it very much."

Taken aback at first, Clarke looked at her with a seductive smile on her face.

"I could do it again, if you want me to" she said, starting to kiss the girl's neck, "Maybe on different parts of your body. I have a few ideas..."

Clarke’s hands lowered to Lexa’s pants, about to undo them, but Lexa stopped her immediately.

 

"I'm not really in the mood..." she said.

Clarke let out a disbelieving laugh.

"Really? You were fucking me not even two seconds ago, and you’re telling me that you’re not affected?"

"I didn’t say that."

"Then what is it? Why won’t you let me touch you?" Clarke asked her.

"I can’t explain it to you, Clarke" Lexa told her, looking away and putting some distance between them.

Clarke shook her head, getting off the desk.

"Can’t or won’t, Lexa?"

When the girl didn’t say anything, Clarke rolled her eyes in exasperation.

"Why do I keep trying..."

She walked into the bathroom, glancing one last time at Lexa, who couldn’t even look at her.

 

Before opening the door, she turned around to look at the room, a confused look on her face.

"Have you seen my panties?" she asked embarrassed.

Lexa shook her head.

Looking at the room for a last time, Clarke locked herself in the bathroom with a sigh.

 

Lexa looked at the closed door for a moment before taking Clarke’s panties from the floor, underneath her bed, a small smirk on her face.

 

* * *

 

 

Walking in the sorority house, Clarke looked around, wondering if going there had been a good idea or not.

When Octavia told her a few days before that there was gonna be a Halloween party, begging her to come and telling her that she definitely needed ‘less studying and more partying’, Clarke had no idea what to expect.

 

She didn’t even wanna really go, but after what was going on with Lexa, she thought staying away as much as possible from her own room was the best option, too afraid she wouldn’t resist the temptation to have sex with the other girl.

It wasn’t because Clarke didn’t appreciate those amazing orgasms Lexa gave her, or those kisses that stole her breath away so easily.

No, Clarke wanted to resist Lexa until the girl would have explained to her why she didn’t want Clarke to touch her; Clarke wanted to ask her why she was so lunatic, acting sometimes like a decent human being, and acting like a cold bitch most of the time.

 

Making her way among some people who were dancing with each other, Clarke looked around, trying to find Octavia.

"Clarke! We’re here!"

Turning in the direction of the voice, Clarke finally saw Octavia, who was trying to get her attention by waving a hand.

Smiling, Clarke started walking towards her, noticing that she wasn’t alone. She recognized Lincoln, but not the other two guys.

When she got close enough to the group, Octavia showed her a huge smile, hugging her.

"You really came, it’s a miracle."

"Yeah, yeah" Clarke laughed, "I bet you haven’t lost any time, huh?" she added, pointing at the half-full cup of beer in her friend’s hand.

"Oh, you know me. I’m on round three, but this beer is so cheap that I still feel way too sober. Not good."

 

Clarke smiled at her, before looking at Lincoln.

"Oh, yeah, you actually don’t know each other, right?” Octavia sighed, "Well, Clarke, this is Lincoln. Lincoln, this is Clarke. "

"Nice to meet you, Lincoln" Clarke said as she shook his hand, not at all surprised by his strong hold.

"The pleasure is all mine, Clarke" Lincoln said with a small smile on his face.

 

Clarke looked at the other guys, while Octavia introduced them to her friend.

"The guy with a nerdy face is Monty, and the dumb looking one is Jasper."

"Thanks Octavia, I love you too" Jasper said, bringing a hand to his chest.

Clarke laughed, introducing herself.

 

"So Clarke, have you already chosen what you’re gonna major in?" Monty asked genuinely curious.

"Medicine" Clarke sighed, pouring beer into a cup.

"Wow, nice" Jasper said, with a wink, "So, can I already call you Dr. Clarke, or..."

"Jasper, no. I already feel really sad for you, don’t make it worse" Octavia interrupted him, smirking, "Also, Clarke has a boyfriend, so don’t even think about it, okay?"

"Well, it doesn’t really surprise me. The most beautiful ones are never single, it’s a fact” the boy said with a shrug.

 

Nobody said anything for a moment.

Clarke was sipping her beer quietly, looking around.

She didn’t know anyone in that room. She thought it was kind of sad, and yet she didn’t really care that much.

 

Octavia then started talking about football, involving Lincoln and Jasper in the conversation, while Monty looked at them with a lost look on his face.

Clarke tried to keep up at first, but gave up when Octavia and Jasper began an animated discussion about which teams would play at the Super Bowl.

After draining her cup, she filled it again, having a feeling that it was going to be a long night.

 

"Clarke!" Octavia said suddenly, startling her, "Look who’s here."

Clarke looked where her friend was pointing at, her eyes landing on the only person she didn’t really want to see that night.

Lexa. Of course.

"What is Miss Sunshine 2015 doing here? I thought she was the ‘all study and no fun’ kind of girl.”

 _But she knows how to have fun. Well, she knows how to have fun with me... on her bed, on my desk..._ Clarke thought, looking as her roommate talked to another girl.

Shaking her head, she gave Octavia an honest answer.

"I have no idea. I'm as much surprised as you are, O."

 

And Clarke really was.

She thought it was weird seeing Lexa outside of their room, at a party of all places, instead of drowning in her books like she usually did.

She looked at her for another moment, before switching her gaze on the other girl, finally able to see her face. She looked kind of familiar.

Then she remembered where she saw her: a few days before in the library, sitting next to Lexa. Well, basically sitting on top of her.

It was the same blonde girl who Lexa definitely, undoubtedly rejected.

 

Yet, when Clarke saw the blonde getting closer to the other girl, whispering something in her ear, she didn’t expect to see Lexa put her cup on a table, taking the girl by the hand and walking towards the middle of the room, starting to dance with her.

 

Clarke looked as the blonde got closer to Lexa, until their bodies fully met. Lexa’s hands were on her hips, which were moving sensually to the sound of the music, pushing a leg between hers.

They started grinding on each other, the blonde’s hand going down to grab Lexa’s bottom.

Clarke squeezed the cup in her hand without realizing it, her beer dripping on the floor.

 

"Wow, she sure knows how to move, huh" Octavia whistled, looking almost with admiration at the two girls dance with each other, "Way to go, Snow Queen."

"Yeah, she sure does..." Jasper said, clearing his throat, while Monty looked at his friend, shaking his head.

Clarke kept looking at Lexa and the other girl dance with each other. Or maybe ‘humping each other’ was a more accurate way to explain what they were doing.

Seriously, why couldn’t they try to control themselves? There were other people in that room, for Christ's sake.

And it looked like Lexa was enjoying a bit too much the other girl’s attention, for someone who rejected her advances only a few days before.

 

Clarke's thoughts were interrupted when Octavia drew her attention by placing a hand on her arm.

"Clarke, there’s a girl who has been staring at you since, like, yesterday."

"Who?" Clarke asked confused.

"I have no idea who she is, but she’s been staring at you in a disturbing way, kind of'" Octavia said, "Near the stairs."

Clarke took a quick look, trying not to seem too obvious.

It was a girl she had one class with, Amy, whom she has spoken to a few times to exchange notes. She was very nice and kind, of course, but Clarke thought of her more as an acquaintance than as a friend.

 

"Watch out, Clarke, she’s coming this way" Octavia warned her.

Turning around, Clarke was startled when she found the girl already right in front of her.

"Hey, Clarke. How are you doing?"

"Hi, Amy. I’m okay, thanks. What about you?" Clarke asked with a forced smile.

"I'm not complaining, especially now" Amy said with a shy smile.

Clarke looked at her without saying anything for a moment, hoping that Amy wasn’t really flirting with her, thinking that maybe it was all in her head.

 

Amy started talking about the seminar they both attended that morning, and Clarke found herself talking to the girl very easily, finally able to not think about Lexa for a while.

 

Amy was really nice. She loved art and had a real passion for drawing, and Clarke found it easier and easier to talk to her.

Crush or not, she knew she had underestimated the girl.

Clarke realized that they were alone when she looked away for a moment. Octavia probably noticed that she wasn’t really in danger or in need to be saved from an awkward conversation.

 

"You wanna dance? I need to work off this terrible beer" Amy suggested, looking at her cup with a disgusted face.

"Sure, why not" Clarke laughed, putting her own cup on a table and looking as Amy did the same.

 

They danced for what seemed like a long time, both keeping some distance between each other. Clarke couldn’t help but take a look around, watching people having fun like them, while others were having fun in other ways. Not so innocent ways.

She threw a curious glance at Lexa, watching her dance sensually with the blonde girl, who was shamelessly grinding her bottom against Lexa’s front.

But there was also something else: Lexa was looking right at Clarke.

Her gaze was unusually different, and Clarke wasn’t able to figure it out at first; it was much more intense than usual, much more intense than when Lexa looked at Clarke in the eyes when she knew she was about to come.

 

When Amy moved closer to her, Clarke saw something change in Lexa’s eyes, and finally she figured it out. Lexa was jealous.

And Clarke loved this.

There was something about seeing her like that that made her feel as if she had more control. In that moment, she knew she could make Lexa feel something, and she had every intention to gain something out of this particular situation.

As soon as the first notes of Partition started playing in the room, she got closer to Amy, throwing her a look that she hoped seemed flirtatious enough, turning around and starting to move her body against hers in a sensual way.

She looked at Lexa as she placed her right hand behind Amy’s neck, bringing her closer until she could feel her breath on her neck, the girl’s hands moving on her hips.

 

Without breaking eye contact from Clarke, Lexa moved her hand to touch the breasts of the girl she was dancing with.

Clarke took it as a challenge or as some kind of sick game between the two of them, since she moved her hand from Amy’s short red hair to take one of hers, guiding it slowly on her breasts, encouraging the girl to touch her.

 

Lexa looked furious, and Clarke felt like she was burning from the way those green eyes were looking at her.

It almost seemed like Lexa was barely holding herself back from doing something irrational, like walking over to Clarke to kiss her, bite her, fuck her until the girl would tell her that no one else could touch her the way she did.

 

Clarke always hated possessiveness, never liked the thought of belonging to somebody else. She wasn’t anyone’s property, she was her own person.

But Lexa didn’t make her feel that way. Lexa made her feel wanted, like she couldn’t help but wanting her so bad, like she needed every single piece of Clarke.

And Clarke wanted everything that made Lexa who she was too. She wanted her bad attitude, she wanted her body, she wanted to always feel those eyes on her.

 

But suddenly she couldn’t see them anymore, as Amy spun her around to kiss her.

She broke the kiss immediately, putting some distance between them.

Clarke looked stunned, while Amy seemed confused.

"I’m so sorry, Clarke. I thought..."

"No, I'm sorry. It’s not you… it’s just that..." Clarke sighed, looking down and running a hand through her hair, "I can’t."

"Hey, don’t worry" Amy shook her head with a small smile, "I'd better go now, before I embarrass myself even further."

"Okay... I’m really, really sorry, by the way. Bye, Amy."

"Don’t worry. Bye, Clarke" the girl said before she left, avoiding looking at Clarke.

 

Feeling terribly guilty, Clarke buried her face in her hands, before releasing a deep breath.

She turned in the direction where she knew Lexa was dancing with her 'friend', but was surprised when she only saw the blonde girl, who had a disappointed look on her face.

She started looking for familiar long brown hair, but she had the distinct feeling that Lexa was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Once she got back to the dorm, after lying to Octavia and telling her that she was really tired, Clarke looked for the room key in her bag, thinking about what happened before.

She knew she did something really, really stupid.

 

Even though she suspected that Amy felt something for her, Clarke used this to her own advantage, to do a really immature and selfish thing.

She would never have the courage to look at the poor girl in the eye ever again, she was sure of it.

And in that moment, she really had no idea how she could talk with Lexa about what happened at the party. At first it seemed like just a silly game, but Clarke knew she crossed a line, in a big way.

Opening the door with a sigh, she hoped Lexa wasn’t in their room. But deep down, she also hoped she was.

 

Lexa was there.

She was leaning against the half open window, with a cigarette between her fingers, as she released a cloud of smoke from her mouth.

Clarke found this sight almost poetic, surely intriguing.

 

"Lexa..." she said, closing the door.

She didn’t say anything else, just looked as the other girl put out the cigarette, closed the window calmly, and got closer to her with an unusual slowness in her footsteps.

Her eyes were locked on Clarke’s as she was approaching her, but they were devoid of any emotion, unreadable.

"Lexa, I think we should..." Clarke started to say, before Lexa interrupted her with a kiss, taking her face between her hands and pushing her against the door.

 

Clarke put her hands on the other girl’s hips, bringing her closer, while Lexa started kissing her neck, leaving bites more aggressive than usual. She slipped her hands on Clarke’s pants, undoing them and lowering the zip, sliding one hand inside her panties.

"Wait, wait" Clarke said, stopping her, "Don’t you think we should talk first?"

"I’m not in the mood to talk" Lexa told her, touching her between her legs, "And I don’t think you really want to talk either."

No, Clarke definitely did not.

 

Pulling her in a long kiss, Clarke felt Lexa’s fingers touch her clit first, then she felt them going lower until with a swift thrust they were inside of her, surprising her and making her moan in Lexa’s mouth.

Lifting one leg and leaning it on her hips, Clarke felt Lexa’s hand touching her thigh, holding it firmly as she added a third finger to fuck her.

Clarke slammed her head against the door, letting out a long moan as Lexa’s thrusts got faster, brushing her clit with her thumb.

She didn’t care if anyone could hear her, she wanted everyone to hear the way Lexa was fucking her, so insanely good.

 

Clarke was already so turned on since the party, since she felt Lexa’s jealous gaze on her, that it didn’t take long for her to come.

She would have felt a little embarrassed, if Lexa wasn’t watching her with eyes full of wonder and amazement.

 

She barely had time to recover before Lexa removed her fingers from inside of her gently, putting some distance between them, her eyes still locked on Clarke’s.

"Take off your clothes, and get on all fours on your bed."

Stunned, Clarke looked at her open-mouthed for a moment.

"Now" Lexa said, arching an eyebrow.

Throwing her a last confused glance, Clarke walked towards her own bed, stopping next to it.

She started getting undressed, taking off everything, until she was completely naked, putting her clothes on the nearest chair.

 

She looked at Lexa, who was watching her with eyes full of lust.

"Do I have to face the wall or...?"

"Face the wall" Lexa told her, undressing herself.

Clarke, despite feeling a little embarrassed, got on her bed, positioning herself the way Lexa wanted her to.

She heard her getting undressed, almost too slowly for Clarke, then she heard something opening and closing, probably her closet.

 

Hearing a weird belt noise, Clarke really hoped that Lexa wasn’t going to do something unusual, à la Fifty Shades Of Grey. Chains, whips and stuff like that weren’t really her cup of tea.

She felt her getting on the bed, and, resisting the temptation to turn around to look at her, Clarke took a deep, trembling breath.

She gasped when Lexa touched her, in a gentle way. With her hands on Clarke’s hips, she started kissing every inch of the girl’s back, a chill running over Clarke’s body.

As Lexa kept kissing her, Clarke could feel  her warm body slowly leaning fully against hers, until she felt something different.

 

"Do you feel that, Clarke?" Lexa whispered in her ear, placing her hands on Clarke’s, "I'll fuck you with this until you won’t feel your legs anymore."

Clarke moaned, while Lexa brushed her hair from her neck to kiss it briefly, leaving kisses all over her back again; her hands touched Clarke’s breasts, brushing her nipples .

 

Feeling Lexa’s hips move against hers, the strap-on rubbing on her clit, Clarke just wanted to feel it more, to feel more of Lexa. But it wasn’t enough.

"Lexa, please" she groaned, feeling the girl's hands running over her body.

"What do you want, Clarke? Tell me. "

Lexa's fingers began to touch her clit, slowly, as if she was trying to make Clarke lose her mind. Clarke clutched the pillow in front of her when the other girl’s fingers brushed over wet folds. Then, Lexa took away her hand.

 

"Tell me what you want, Clarke" Lexa told her, bringing a hand through her hair and pulling on them, making Clarke turn towards her.

Her eyes were so dark that Clarke could barely see the green in her eyes. Clarke kissed her briefly, before looking at her with fire in her eyes, her lips brushing against Lexa’s when she answered her.

"I want you to fuck me, Lexa. I want you to fuck me without any mercy, please."

 

It was everything Lexa wanted to hear.

She lubricated the sex toy with her fingers still wet from Clarke’s arousal, while Clarke faced back the wall, feeling her heart beating faster.

Then she finally felt it between her legs, Lexa guiding it slowly inside her. Impatient, Clarke was about to tell her to just get it over with and push the whole damn thing inside of her, when Lexa moved her hips until, with a single deep thrust, she was fully inside of Clarke.

Clarke let out a loud moan, while Lexa started moving fast, fucking her relentlessly, almost ruthlessly.

 

With her hands on Clarke’s hips, her fingers that would surely leave a mark, Lexa alternated fast and slow movements.

Clarke really felt like she was losing her mind. She didn’t really mind going crazy because of Lexa and the amazing way she was fucking her: an unforgiving way, devoid of any tenderness.

 

Clarke gave a cry of pleasure when Lexa reached that same spot she seemed to hit every time they had sex, burying her face in the pillow when she realized she couldn’t hold back her screams, not wanting to be heard by anyone who could be around outside their room.

Biting the pillow, she closed her eyes, feeling the girl's body leaning on hers, her lips brushing her ear.

"Don’t hide from me" she whispered, without slowing down her movements, "I want to see you, Clarke."

 

Clarke suddenly found herself lying on her back, her eyes meeting the fiery ones of the girl on top of her.

Before she could say anything, Lexa put her hands behind her knees, bending her legs until they touched Clarke’s breasts.

 

She started fucking her again, and Clarke felt the strap-on more deeply than before, as Lexa’s thrusts became even more frantic, almost impossibly so, as she pinned the girl beneath her with a paralyzing, angry look.

"What were you thinking, Clarke? How did you think I would react, watching you dance with that girl? "

Clarke wanted to answer her, but the only thing that came out of her mouth was a loud moan when Lexa managed to hit again that special spot inside of her.

"Were you trying to make me jealous? Or did you really like that girl?"

Going faster and faster, Lexa’s movements became almost animalistic, harsher.

Bringing her hands on her back, Clarke run her nails into her skin, feeling the need to cling to something, anything.

It was almost as if Lexa was trying to punish her.

It was a punishment that seemed more like a prize to Clarke.

 

"No..."

"What, Clarke?" Lexa asked impatiently.

"I didn’t do it... because I liked her" Clarke said while trying to catch her breath, making the other girl slow down her movements, "I did it to make you jealous."

Lexa looked at her with a stoic face, stopping abruptly. Clarke was about to start complaining, asking her to keep going, but she couldn’t say anything, since Lexa smirked, before kissing her passionately for a moment that was too short.

 

She began moving inside of her again, with deep and slow thrusts, as if she wanted to make it last for as long as she could.

"You're mine, Clarke. You're only mine" she whispered on Clarke’s mouth, feeling her breathing fast, "Say it."

"I'm yours, Lexa. I'm yours, I'm only yours." Clarke said, running her hands through Lexa’s hair, pulling at it when she felt she was going to come.

And she did when Lexa kissed her, not stopping her movements, until Clarke could only feel Lexa’s warm body against hers, and smiling lips brushing hers.


End file.
